Free Advice

So here I am...single at thirty seven. It's not by choice I assure you. I have tried the online dating services, (you know that's a bad idea when they match you with someone you already know), I have allowed myself to be set up and met friends of friends. Being single at this age has allowed me to receive a barrage of comments, criticism and advice from "wise", well meaning people with nothing better to do than worry about my love life (or lack of one).

"If only you would put yourself out there", I have heard. What does that mean? Put yourself out there. Do I stand on a corner somewhere with a sign, "I'm out here"? Maybe I should take out an ad or run a commercial. "Tired of looking for a mature, loving, kind, trustworthy, faithful, and loyal wife? Well do I have a product for you, The Loving Wife by Ronco. "

"Your day will come. I waited a long time for my husband." This comment came a few years ago from an eighteen year old friend about to get married. Really...a long time? Had she been any closer to me I would have punched her, but that would have landed me in jail and that is not a good place to meet a man.

Another comment is the, "You are too picky" comment. What in the world? Too picky? How can one be too picky? Let's see. I don't want anyone who is addicted to drugs, gambling, smoking, alcohol or porn. I don't want a liar or a cheater. I would like to avoid criminals, wife beaters, sex offenders, predators, murderers and psychopaths. I would rather he not have five kids from five different women. Is it too much to ask from someone who is STD free? I tell people that I believe that marriage is too important to settle for just anything.

"The grass is always greener", a married friend once said as I complained about another holiday without someone love. "You single people don't realize how good you have it. You can go wherever and do whatever you want when you want." Baffled by her comment, (she always praised marriage and its advantages), I asked her if she would like to be single again. "No way! I would hate to be alone." I told her that she was banned from ever giving me advice again.

My least favorite comment. It receives my, "What the hell were you thinking when you said that" award. "You're not getting any younger, what are you waiting for?" I always want to respond something like, "Hmmm...let's see. I was going to wait for my eggs to shrivel up and for my body to become so aged that no man would want to see me without clothes. Is that not a good plan?" Are people so insensitive that they think a comment like that will be received well. Like I don't already know how old am I have to be reminded.

I know that there are other people out there like me. People who value marriage and refuse to settle on just anything. To you people I stand and applaud.

I have some free advice:

To all you married people: think about what you say before you say it or just don't say anything at all.

To all you single people: It takes a mighty good spouse to be better than none, (just think about that). It's better to be single than in a marriage you want out of. While you are waiting do all those things you've been waiting (for marriage) to do. Take that trip , buy that house; whatever it is you want to do just do it!

Peace, love and good marriages for all,
Andie